Funny Wedding Toasts -
Incorporating Humor Judiciously

Funny wedding toasts and wedding speeches can really enhance a wonderful wedding celebration.


Your aim is to lighten the mood with one or two wedding jokes that are subtle, suitable and selectively woven into your wedding speech or toast.

A wedding is not the occasion to introduce jokes that are rude or vulgar. You audience is likely to include a wide range of ages and guests from differing backgrounds and sensibilities.

Try to select jokes that have universal appeal and as always, the onus should always be to laugh with, rather than at someone.

Great Funny Speeches - Suggestions and Shortcomings offers further important guidelines and tips to include humor effectively to enhance your excellent speech or toast.


Successful marriage requires falling in love many times,

But always with the same person.

German Geer

Both marriage and death ought to be welcome -

the one promises happiness-

doubtless the other assures it!

Letter to Will Bowen

A woman cries before the wedding...

And a man after.

Polish Proverb

I fell in love at first sight....I should have looked twice.


Marriage is a four ring investment -

Engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering and enduring.


I take my wife everywhere I go.

She always finds her way back.

Henry Youngman

The secret of a happy marriage...

remains a secret!


By all means marry.

If you get a good wife - you'll be happy.

If you get a bad one - you'll become a philosopher.


A good husband is worth two good wives -

the scarcer things are...the more than are valued.

Benjamin Franklin

Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes -

There's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

Henry Kissinger

I always cry at weddings - especially my own!

Humphrey Bogart

The groom informed her early on exactly who is the boss.

He looked her right in the eye and said,

"You're the boss!"


Behind every great man there is a...

surprised woman!

Maryon Pearson

I love being married.

It's so great to find that special one person...

You want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Rita Rudner

To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup,

Whenever you're wrong - admit it

Whenever you're right - shut up!

Ogden Nash

A man in love is incomplete until he is married.

Then he's finished!

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Funny wedding toasts - remember to pause after you deliver the "punch line".

Give your audience the time to laugh and appreciate your joke.

Allow them time to settle and then continue - resist the temptation of trying to talk over their laughter.

Return from Funny Wedding Toasts to Words of Wisdom

Free Best Man Speeches for Poised and Confident Presentations